To quote Nicholas Cage, “I’m not going to tell you a pack of lies to make me look good, I’m just going to tell you what happened.”
It all happened so fast, this is what I remember…
The day began as any normal morning, when out of nowhere the tell-tale signs of impending doom began to rear their ugly head. A slight burning at the back of my throat was gaining strength. I knew there would soon be a raging inferno rivaling the great fire of London.
By lunch I was coughing as if the Hulk was pounding his green fists through my rib cage, perspiration, high temperature and running nose… this had become my reality, why me who had I wronged in a previous life!?
Miraculously I made it to the end of the day with everything turning cold. Was this the end? I’m too young to go this way! I got to the front door… SANCTUARY! A glimmer of hope, I staggered to bed remembering my fallen brothers, man flu had struck.
Secure in bed, my wife administered treatment. A single tear rolled across her cheek, I could see the fear in her eyes. She knew I had practically high-fived the grim reaper.
Lying there unsure of my future, a pharmaceutical meet-and-greet taking place in my belly, I nodded off to sleep.
The next day I arose like a phoenix from the ashes, one hundred percent! Luckily, my will to survive had kicked in, and I fought my way back from the edge of the abyss. I had danced with the devil and lived to tell the tale. I don’t know what all my wife’s drama and panicking was about!
Tips and tricks to help your other half recover:
- Catch it early: Prevention is better than cure, despite your partner’s best efforts at bravado, administer medication early.
- Load up on Vitamins: Multi vitamins are highly effective at staving off the claws of man flu.
- A sympathetic shoulder goes a long way: put up with the moaning, groaning and complaints. I know it’s a HUGE pain in the butt! However, a little bit of tenderness takes the edge off.
- The combo: combine creamy chicken noodle soup and chicken-flavoured two minute noodles! My wife’s idea, this salty, soft concoction is sure to pep up the afflicted.
- Sleep: let him rest, rest, rest! Everyone knows this one!