VALENTINE'S DAY

The Vendetta with Valentine’s

Well, well, well…  Just as you manage to stretch your salary all the way to the 131st of January, and start to regain some sort of stability, Cupid sets his sights on your bank balance.  The minute I see his fat Cherub behind on posters around town, I feel an all too familiar chill run down my spine.

Look don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Valentine’s Day.  ITS JUST SO EXPENSIVE!  Jewellery, dinner, flowers, chocolates… the list is endless.  I love my wife dearly, but cut me some slack.

This got me thinking, does Valentine’s Day really have to be that bad?  Or can I turn things around… can I take back the fourteenth?

Look saint Valentine in the eye and shout “I will not go quietly into night! I will not buy pointless trinkets and overpriced long stemmed roses!”.  Slap Cupids fat little face and say “NO MORE FAT MAN! THIS IS MY HOUSE NOW”  I think so… Man has overcome enormous hurdles – we’ve put a man on the moon, climbed Everest and conquered both wilderness and beast.  I can do this!

VALENTINE'S DAY

A little planning goes a long way

I read somewhere that “victory loves preparation”, so apply a little planning and avoid panic and inevitable chaos.  So, get cracking early and think ahead – as men we are all guilty of leaving bookings and purchases until the dying seconds.  For example, there are a lot of restaurants that will allow you to book well in advance, some will even allow bookings as early as December.  A night away, perhaps to a bed and breakfast, doesn’t break the bank and can be booked far in advance.  Plus, if you have put something together in advance, don’t be shy if your partner asks – let her know proudly that you thought about it ages ago.  She’ll appreciate it!

VALENTINE'S DAY

Think outside the box

Quite literally think outside the box – as nice as a box of chocolates and some flowers are…. Don’t do it!  Any beer-swilling buffoon can buy that stuff, plus not only is it way over-priced, but you might as well stick up a giant neon light that says “I PUT ZERO EFFORT INTO THIS!”.  If you must get flowers and chocolates, get them delivered with a note at least.  Look, don’t get me wrong, I have had to do that mad dash into Woolies to quickly hustle up the most romantic bag of Chuckles in the world, but that doesn’t mean I can’t improve.

VALENTINE'S DAY

Romantic doesn’t mean expensive

I am no expert, and believe you me…. I am a long way away from understanding the intricacies and small idiosyncrasies that make my wife tick, let alone every other female on the planet.  However, grand gestures often don’t have as much of an impact as a simple hand written lette,r or small token from a memorable time spent together.  You would be amazed at how a meal prepared and a bottle of wine with a candle at home will carry you.

BE CAUTIONED HOWEVER: if you think you’re going to cop out and slap something together at the last second and slap some sentimental nonsense on it, be my guest.  But, ultimately, she will see through it and you will be shunned like a leper for attempting to pull that stunt.

VALENTINE'S DAY

Don’t be afraid to be a bit cheesy

Like any man, you don’t want your mates to know that you’re not made of granite, but occasionally let your other half know this.  A note in a lunch box or a Post-It in her car before work with a few words, can set her off to a great start on the day.  Don’t forget these small gestures WILL be exposed to her mates or co-workers, and their partners will catch it for not being as thoughtful as you.  #suckitRyanGosling

In a nut shell, put your bravado aside for a day… be a silly cheese ball, plan a little, forget what your mates will say and make it one for her to remember.

 

Until next time,

Nick

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